All my years saved, I “knew” God was a good and kind God. I accepted it by faith. The Bible says so. We grew up singing “Yes Jesus loves me, for the Bible tells me so.” Every Christian and even some non Christians can quote John 3:16. “God so loved the world that He gave His only Son…” That verse is on autopilot in our brains. It is the kind of statement you make and then shrug. We are used to hearing it. But do we really believe it?
How do you know if you truly believe it? You will know when you lose a friend, parent, sibling, loved one; when your trusted spouse betrays you; when you lose the source of your income; when you lose a child; when several die by fire/flooding/earthquake. At those times, how do you feel towards God? Do you look up and say angrily “where were You?” When you get a diagnosis you never expected, do you say “after everything I have done for You, God?” These are tests of whether we truly believe that God is always loving and always kind no matter the circumstance. It does not mean that it is a sin to be angry or to show emotion. After all, God gave us our emotions. He possesses them too. But our trials test how we see and know God. I thought I knew God until He truly revealed Himself to me. Ephesians 3:17-19. Job 42:5.
My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. (NIV, Job 42:5)
God put me through His fire. I could have either fled from Him or clung more tightly. I chose the latter: to wait out the pain. I asked Him to show Himself. I held on to His truth, reminding myself that He never lies. It was tough. The easy route out was too tempting. But I decided I would not stop fighting. That when I was done, I would stand. In the midst of our conversations, He began to speak to my heart. He said “daughter, would you trust me enough to sleep in a wilderness like My Son Jesus did?” I answered that there was no way I would be safe with all the animals out there. In what felt like a whisper, it dawned on me: I did not believe that God would command the animals for my sake to protect and not harm me. I realized then that I did not believe strongly enough in God’s love for me. I was at the beginning of a love discovery journey with God.
God is love. Love is patient. When we tell lies and run to God showing true remorse, He smiles and takes us back. When a person is wicked to his neighbor but still asks God for mercy in providing him with a job, God waits for his repentance but answers his prayer according to His will. When a child of His gets distracted by the world’s riches and its trials/cares, He waits patiently. Love is kind and not easily provoked. There is nothing I can say to God that will make Him burn with quick anger. His anger only comes when the cup is full. Love is not self-seeking. In His relationship with me, He wants me to be fulfilled. He is not thinking about Himself but about me. He wants me to smile even when I come to Him in a foul mood. He wants to give to me more than I want to give to Him. Hebrews 11:6 lets us know that He is happy when we believe the best of Him, when we trust that if we search hard for Him, He will not leave us in a place of trouble or distress, when we believe that He will fight for us. David did when he faced Goliath. The Hebrew boys did when they were in a furnace. When we trust and believe Him, He comes through.
All my life, I had it wrong! I had been seeking out ways to love Him, never sure if I had proven my love yet, when He just wanted me to rest. He searches the heart of man. He knows when a heart wants Him and loves Him truly. He knew and knows that I cherish Him. He needed me to know that He loves me, not for anything I did or would do, but just because He did.
The last time I got ill (and I rarely do), I thought “maybe God wants me sick. Maybe I am being chastened for something.” But He let me know: “why would I send my Only Son to heal the sick and take up infirmities on the cross? Why would Jesus tell the Pharisees He was releasing a woman bound by the devil for years? Why would Jesus rebuke devils for sicknesses and deaths? Why did He grab the keys of death and Hades?” It is not God’s desire that we be sick. No, not cancer. No, not insomnia. No, not depression. No, not barrenness. Nothing. He sent Jesus to break all those chains. To cast out the prince of this world. And Jesus is still doing it today!! He is doing it through the believers, those who have as little as mustard seed faith that He can cure them, and those who know the truth that He is willing to cure them. Why? Because HE LOVES US!! HE LOVES ME. HE LOVES YOU. Not because of something you did or are doing or will do, but because He just does.
Receive His love and His truth today and be set free. If the doctors told you you have cancer, use your tongue. Refute it. Say “Sorry. Jesus did not die for nothing. Satan, be you cast out. I will not be caged by you. I am free in the mighty name of Jesus, the Almighty, He whose eyes are flames of fire and whose countenance is like the sun. Because of Father’s love, because of Christ’s love, that covers me, I will not accept this report but the Lord’s report. I am well. I am whole. I am free!”